The Real Cost of Networking Without a Strategy — and What I’ve Learned From My Own Journey
When I started networking back in 2009, I’ll be honest — I didn’t really know what I was doing.
I was shy. Quiet. An introvert through and through.
The idea of standing up and talking about myself or my business? Terrifying.
In the early days, I thought the only way to be successful was to be more — more confident, more outgoing, more bubbly, more not me.
And for a long time, that’s exactly what I tried to do.
I’d watch the louder voices in the room, the polished pitches, the big personalities — and tell myself that’s what I had to become.
But deep down, it never felt right.
Even when I started to get regular referrals. Even when my business was growing steadily. Even when people were saying lovely things about me and the work I did — I still didn’t feel like I belonged.
Because I didn’t yet realise that real success in networking comes from being authentic, not performing.
And here’s what I know now:
That mindset is what holds so many women back from getting what they really need from networking.
When networking feels hard, it’s not always about confidence — it’s about clarity
I meet so many women who say:
- “I’ve tried networking, but it didn’t really work.”
- “I show up but I don’t get any clients.”
- “I feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing… and I don’t.”
Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: Networking isn’t about selling to the people in the room.
It’s about building relationships.
It’s about educating others on what you do, so they remember you when the time is right.
It’s about staying consistent, showing up as yourself, and trusting that the dots will connect — even if not immediately.
But when you don’t have a strategy — when you’re just turning up and hoping something sticks — it can feel like a complete waste of time and energy.
I know, because I’ve been there.
I used to leave events wondering what the point was.
I’d overthink everything I said.
I’d compare myself to everyone else, assuming they had it all together.
But behind the smiles and the confidence, so many of them were feeling exactly the same way.
That’s the thing about perception and assumptions.
We think others are soaring while we’re stumbling.
We think we’re the only ones who feel unsure, or awkward, or a bit lost.
But networking isn’t a performance. It’s a process.
And like any process, it works best when you understand it — and when you find a way that works for you.
What happens when you don’t have a networking strategy?
Let’s break it down. If you’re winging it — turning up to events without a plan — here’s what it’s likely costing you:
- Your time
You’re giving away hours to meetings, chats, and follow-ups… but if there’s no structure, no intention, and no goal, you’re unlikely to see results.
- Your energy
Especially if you’re an introvert, being in rooms full of people can feel draining. If you’re not seeing progress, it starts to eat away at your confidence too.
- Your money
Event fees, travel, childcare — it all adds up. And without a clear purpose or strategy, it’s money down the drain.
- Missed opportunities
This one stings. Because when you’re not networking intentionally, you could be walking straight past golden opportunities — collaborations, referrals, partnerships — simply because you didn’t have a plan.
My turning point
Things started to shift when I decided to stop trying to be someone I wasn’t.
I gave myself permission to network as me — a quiet, thoughtful, heart-led woman who believed in building relationships over making quick sales.
I started showing up with intention.
I started telling my story more honestly.
I stopped trying to be “on” all the time and started focusing on listening, understanding, and connecting.
And something amazing happened:
I grew in confidence.
The right people found me.
Referrals came more naturally.
And over time, I stopped feeling like I had to prove myself.
That feeling of constantly needing validity and credibility eventually eased — although I’ll admit, it took years.
In fact, it wasn’t until I won my first award that I fully allowed myself to say, “I truly belong here.”
It was a huge moment for me. That recognition gave me what I didn’t realise I was looking for — the external stamp that said, you’re doing okay.
But what I now know is this: I didn’t need that award to be valid.
My consistency, my quiet confidence, and my deep relationships had already built something solid long before the trophy arrived.
What networking has given me
When done well, networking becomes so much more than marketing.
It’s given me:
- Incredible collaborations — including becoming a proud partner in the Great Women in Business network
- Trusted connections who recommend me behind closed doors
- Confidence to speak on stages (even though the thought of public speaking used to make me feel physically sick!)
- A sustainable, values-led business that reflects who I am
- And most importantly — it’s helped me help others.
Through WBN and my 1-1 work, I now get to support women who feel just like I once did — uncertain, overlooked, and overwhelmed by networking — and show them a different way.
That’s why I created the Networking with Confidence workshops
Because I don’t want you to waste any more time feeling lost in rooms that don’t serve you.
I don’t want you to keep thinking you need to be someone else to succeed.
These workshops are here to help you get clear, get confident, and find your way of doing networking — not the loudest way, not the flashiest way — but the way that feels good and gets results.
Here’s what we’re covering in our next group intake in September:
💬 Networking for Beginners – 3rd September
Perfect if you’re just starting out or haven’t quite found your feet. It also serves as a refresher for those who have been networking for a while who want to get ‘back to basics’.
We’ll cover what to say, how to introduce yourself with ease, and how to build confidence without pretending to be someone you’re not.
🤝 Networking for Introverts – 10th September
For those of you who feel drained by the whole process. We want you to succeed at networking in a way that works for you.
We’ll focus on managing your energy, finding calmer networking spaces, and understanding how to build deep, genuine connections — your way.
🎯 Networking for Results – 17th September
If you’ve been showing up but not seeing the return, this is for you.
We’ll refine your messaging, look at your follow-up process, and create a simple strategy to turn networking into growth — not guesswork.
All three sessions will be interactive group sessions where you can share this experience in a safe space. Each session we will be creating your own bespoke networking strategy that is totally aligned to you and your goals. It’s not about creating a one size fits all plan it is all about you, your needs and your future networking success.
You can book one session or the full series (there’s a discount for booking more than one!)
https://womensbusinessnetwork.co.uk/events/
You don’t need to be louder.
You don’t need to be anyone but yourself.
But you do need a strategy.
Because when you network with confidence and clarity, everything changes.
I am so excited to take you on this journey. I hope you’ll join me for these sessions — and start creating the kind of networking success that fits you.
With love,
Sharon x
Header Image credit: John Cleary www.bemorevisible.online
