Whose version of success are you chasing?

For 25 years, Cyprus has been somewhere my husband and I return to time and time again.

This year we decided to do something different.

Instead of revisiting our usual favourite places, we headed into the Troodos Mountains, explored villages we’d never visited before and spent time slowing the pace down.

Since returning home, I’ve realised I brought back much more than memories of a wonderful holiday.

I came back with a question that’s stayed with me…

How often do we do exactly the same thing in our lives and businesses simply because it’s familiar?

Whether it’s our daily routines, the way we run our business, the advice we follow or even where we choose to spend our free time, it’s so easy to keep repeating what we’ve always done without ever stopping to ask ourselves…

Is this still right for me?

I know I don’t ask myself that question often enough. Life gets busy and before we know it, we’re running on autopilot.

We are often so busy doing what we do that we do not have time to stop and question this.

We keep pushing on, doing all the things we think we should be doing. Too afraid not to because of what might happen to our business or life if we stop.

Coming home, I realised this is the challenge I want to leave with you this summer…to pause, take the pressure off and assess.

Ask yourself:

• Why do I do things this way?
• Is it working?
• Am I getting the results I want?
• Do I even want/need to be doing this?

I would encourage you to do this not just for your business or career but for all aspects of your life.

How much of what you do is affected by what you have seen on social media?

How often have you been “sold to” via a social media campaign because they told you this solution can solve all your problems?

How did that work out for you?

There is no judgement here whatsoever because I have spent £1000s and whilst I have always learnt something it has not always given the result I hoped for. That wasn’t because the coach wasn’t good. More often than not, it was because I either didn’t need that course at that moment, or I wasn’t in the right headspace to absorb the lessons and put them into practice.

Timing plays a big part, but so does a lack of clarity about what you really want.

And the most important question of all is …

Am I building the business or life I want….and does my work support that?

Or have I got carried along with the hype?

Is social media steering me in a different direction to the path I chose?

Are there other societal influences affecting my decision making?

Do family and friends often share their opinions? Usually, it’s because they care. They want to protect us from disappointment or risk. But sometimes, in trying to keep us safe, they can unintentionally make it harder for us to hear our own voice.

This is very familiar to me, but I can honestly say failure doesn’t scare me because I see it as the way we learn. My journey has had twists and turns, and I do not regret any step of that journey because it makes you who you are today and that relates to business and life.

In fact, during this holiday myself and my husband both asked ourselves the question do we have any regrets and would we have done things differently. I have shared before how hard the 2008/9 recession affected us and it was a long road to recovery. But it also taught us a very big lesson, and we would not put ourselves in such a vulnerable position again.

Success looks hugely different for us all. So much is linked to wealth and finances. I have never measured success in that way other than in weaker moments where I have let social media gurus trigger me and question my worth.

Success is individual and I would ask you to reflect on this if you are questioning your own success?

Who are you measuring your success against and is that realistic?

If I’m honest, my guess would be no.

The best way to define your own success is by writing a list of all that you have achieved whether that be in business or life. The detail and length of that list is up to you but don’t just note the major milestones. Recall the small moments you said yes to something before you were ready. Securing your first client, speaking in public.

Let’s start setting our own goals for success on our terms. Record them somewhere so it is easy to reflect and see how far you have come. I heard a great tip from a Business Awards Adviser recently she said have a folder or document on your pc or phone and each time something happens record it. It’s surprising when writing an Awards nomination how much we forget to mention.

A conversation that reinforced everything I’d been reflecting on…

In WBN last month our conversation started with are we working in our businesses doing the day to day or are we working on our business for the future.

What came out of that discussion was that one member felt she needed to plan 15 years ahead. Another member said she likes to keep everything fluid and flexible whilst always ensuring that finances were stable for years to come. Another admitted that her and her husband had not sat down to plan.

Here is the important thing about every one of those answers. Three completely different approaches. Three completely different women. Yet every answer was right because each one reflected what worked for that person.

The purpose of the session wasn’t to teach or project my advice onto others. It was to encourage everyone to look within and ask whether the path they are on is the right one for them.

So, I will conclude this blog post with this thought.

The question is not whether you are successful.

The better question is:

Are you building a future that is right for you?

Because there is not one right way to build a business, a career, or a life.

There is only the way that is right for you.

And sometimes, all we need is the space to think aloud before we recognise what that looks like.

Because perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves isn’t another answer… it’s the permission to ask better questions.