Over recent months, I’ve had a number of conversations with women in business that have all centred around a similar theme.
They are tired.
Not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep fixes.
Not necessarily the kind of tired that a holiday fixes either.
A deeper kind of tired.
Mental exhaustion.
Feeling like they are constantly pushing forwards but never quite catching up.
I have been open and shared with my members and wider community the struggles I have experience with pushing myself too hard, to the point I had to step away from my business for a couple of weeks.
That wasn’t an easy decision to make.
When you’ve spent years conditioning yourself to keep going, keep showing up and keep pushing through, stepping back can feel uncomfortable.
Especially when you care deeply about your business, your clients and the people you support.
What surprised me most was the impact it had on my confidence.
My confidence took a knock and with that came a reluctance to put myself out there.
I stopped attending in-person events because I knew I would feel triggered into thinking I needed to do more, be more and start pushing myself again before I was ready.
Thankfully I recognised what was happening.
But it made me realise how easily we can find ourselves caught up in a cycle of constantly striving for more without stopping to ask whether we actually need to.
And from conversations I’ve had recently, I know I’m far from alone.
When Did Business Become Another Source of Pressure?
Many of us started our businesses because we wanted more freedom.
More flexibility.
More control over our time.
More choice over how we spend our days.
Yet somewhere along the way, it can be easy to find ourselves replacing one set of pressures with another.
The pressure to post more.
The pressure to be visible.
The pressure to attend every event.
The pressure to launch the next thing.
The pressure to keep up.
I used to be very affected by what I saw on social media.
It felt like everyone else had it all together.
Everyone seemed to be launching something new, attending every event, growing their businesses and achieving success after success, whilst I was sat there looking at my own never-ending to-do list wondering how on earth I was supposed to keep up.
The reality is that social media only ever shows us a snapshot of someone’s life or business.
Rarely do we see the full picture.
Networking can be exactly the same.
I am a huge advocate for networking and genuinely believe it is one of the most valuable investments a woman can make in herself and her business.
However, if you don’t approach networking with intention, it can very quickly become another drain on your time, energy and finances with little to show for it in return.
I talk about this a lot because I see it happen so often.
It isn’t about being in every room.
It’s about being in the right rooms with the right people.
The rooms where you feel supported.
The rooms where relationships are built.
The rooms where conversations lead to opportunities, collaborations and referrals naturally over time.
When you spend time getting to know people properly in the business world, something interesting happens.
You begin to realise that many of the people you have placed on a pedestal are experiencing exactly the same challenges and doubts as you.
I’ve had conversations with incredibly successful business owners who have openly shared struggles with confidence, motivation, burnout and uncertainty.
Those conversations can be incredibly powerful because they remind us that nobody has it all figured out.
They also encourage us to stop measuring ourselves against someone else’s journey and start looking at our own business through a more personal lens.
We are all different.
We all have different goals.
Different priorities.
Different motivations.
Different definitions of success.
So berating ourselves for not following the same path as someone else is not only unfair, it’s a complete waste of our time and energy.
The real question isn’t whether you’re keeping up with everyone else.
It’s whether you’re building a business that supports the life you want to live.
Success Means Different Things to Different People
One of the most interesting conversations from a recent Business Clinic centred around what success actually means.
We often assume we should want bigger.
More clients.
More money.
More visibility.
More growth.
But is that really what we want?
Or is it what we’ve been told we should want?
For some women, success might be building a team and scaling a business.
For others, it might be creating a business that works around family, health, travel or other priorities.
Neither is right or wrong.
I used to measure success by how much money was in the bank or how much profit my business generated.
Of course those things matter, but they are only one small part of the picture.
I openly admit that I have always wanted a lifestyle business.
Yes, I wanted to feel successful and create financial security, but not at the expense of spending time with my loved ones or feeling like my business had completely taken over my life.
The problem was that because I measured success primarily through money, I found it very difficult to see myself as successful.
It has only really been over the last five years that I have realised how unrealistic that was.
This year marks 17 years in business for me.
For 17 years I have generated my own income and built my businesses through the relationships, opportunities and experiences I have created along the way.
According to the Office for National Statistics, around 93% of UK businesses survive their first year, but by year five that figure falls to around 38%.
Whilst statistics don’t tell the whole story, they do remind us that running a business isn’t always straightforward and that support, self-awareness and building sustainable foundations matter.
When I stop and look back over those 17 years, some of the things I am most proud of have very little to do with money.
I’ve had opportunities to become a published author, contributing to three books.
I’ve hosted my own podcast.
I’ve built Women’s Business Network and created a community that has connected women from across the UK and beyond.
I’ve formed friendships, collaborations and business relationships that have lasted for years.
But perhaps the biggest success of all has been seeing the women I have supported grow in confidence and self-belief.
Watching women join WBN lacking confidence, doubting themselves or questioning whether they belong, then seeing them gradually find their voice, step outside their comfort zone and go on to achieve things they never thought possible.
That is incredibly special.
And when I reflect on what success means to me today, those are the moments that matter most.
None of those achievements can be measured by looking at a bank balance.
Which is why I think it’s worth asking ourselves from time to time:
How are we measuring success?
And more importantly, are we measuring it against our own values and goals, or somebody else’s?
All of this brings me back to the question at the heart of this article.
Are you building the business you actually want?
Because if your definition of success looks different to someone else’s, then the decisions you make, the opportunities you pursue and the pace at which you grow may look different too.
And that’s perfectly okay.
In fact, it might be exactly what you need.
Which leads to another question worth thinking about…
If Everything Changed Tomorrow, Would You Be Ready?
Sometimes we spend so much time chasing the next opportunity that we don’t stop to ask whether we are actually ready for it.
Would more clients fit into your current lifestyle?
Would rapid growth support the life you want?
Would your business foundations cope?
One of the conversations we had recently in our Business Clinic really brought this home for me.
One of our members has been working towards significant growth in her business for some time. It’s something she has talked about openly and been actively preparing for.
Yet during our discussion she made a really interesting observation.
She realised she isn’t quite ready for that level of growth yet.
Not because she lacks ambition.
Not because she doesn’t want it.
But because she has a growing family who still depend on her and she recognised that if that level of growth arrived tomorrow, it could create pressures and demands that she isn’t currently in a position to manage.
What struck me was the self-awareness behind that realisation.
She wasn’t abandoning her goal.
She wasn’t lowering her expectations.
She wasn’t telling herself she couldn’t achieve it.
Instead, she recognised that she needs a little more time to prepare, put the right support in place and ensure the foundations are there so that when the opportunity comes, she can fully embrace it rather than feeling overwhelmed by it.
That conversation really resonated with me because so often in business we are encouraged to focus solely on growth.
Bigger.
Faster.
More.
Yet very few people stop to ask whether we are actually ready for what we are asking for.
Sometimes the most important thing isn’t setting the goal.
It’s making sure the timing, support and foundations are there to help us succeed when we reach it.
What all of these conversations have in common is self-awareness.
The ability to step back, take an honest look at where you are and recognise when something needs to change.
It’s not always easy to do when we’re busy running a business, supporting clients, looking after family and trying to keep all the plates spinning.
But if we don’t stop and check in with ourselves from time to time, it’s easy to find ourselves heading in a direction we never consciously chose.
So if any of what I’ve shared resonates with you, perhaps these are four questions worth asking yourself.
Four Questions Worth Asking Yourself
- How is your health?
Without your health, everything else becomes harder.
If your business is affecting your sleep, stress levels or wellbeing, it is worth understanding why.
- Are you clear on your why?
Why are you doing what you do?
What role is your business supposed to play in your life?
- Are you busy or productive?
Many of us spend years doing all the things.
The real question is whether those things are moving us closer to what we actually want.
I used to pride myself on my ability to juggle lots of plates at once and I know many women do the same.
We wear it almost as a badge of honour.
The ability to manage a business, family, home life, networking, marketing, clients and everything else that gets thrown our way.
For years I told myself that was a strength.
But with the benefit of hindsight, I’m not so sure.
Because whilst I became very good at juggling, I rarely stopped to ask whether I should be carrying so much in the first place.
The reality is that constantly trying to do everything can come at a cost.
Stress.
Overwhelm.
Exhaustion.
A feeling that there is always something else demanding your attention.
Eventually, that pressure catches up with us.
I’ve learnt that being productive isn’t about how many things you can fit into a day.
It’s about understanding what matters most and having the confidence to focus your time and energy there.
Sometimes doing less is actually the most productive thing we can do.
The challenge is giving ourselves permission to believe that.
- Who supports you?
Running a business can feel incredibly lonely at times.
Having people around you who understand the journey can make all the difference.
This is probably the question I have struggled with most throughout my business journey.
As the host of Women’s Business Network, my focus has always been on supporting others.
Listening.
Encouraging.
Helping members work through challenges.
Connecting people.
Being the person who offers support.
What I wasn’t very good at was asking for support myself.
For many years I convinced myself that I should be able to figure things out on my own.
That asking for help somehow meant I wasn’t coping or that I should be able to handle things better.
Looking back, I realise how unhelpful that mindset was.
Over the last year or so, my members have encouraged me to be more open about what is happening in my own world too.
They have reminded me that support works both ways.
That if we expect others to be vulnerable and honest, we need to be willing to do the same.
Sharing some of my own challenges, struggles and uncertainties hasn’t always felt comfortable, but it has been incredibly valuable.
Not only because of the advice and perspectives I’ve received, but because it reminded me that I don’t have to carry everything on my own.
The support, encouragement and kindness I’ve received from members has helped me more than they probably realise.
It has also reinforced something I believe very strongly.
Business is hard enough without trying to do it alone.
We all need people we can talk to.
People who understand.
People who can offer a different perspective.
People who will celebrate the wins with us and help us through the tougher moments too.
The question isn’t whether you need support.
The question is whether you’re allowing yourself to receive it.
When I look back at everything I’ve shared in this article, it all comes back to one thing.
Self-awareness.
The ability to recognise when something isn’t working.
The courage to question whether the path you’re on is still right for you.
And the willingness to ask for support when you need it.
Because whilst running a business often requires independence, that doesn’t mean we have to navigate every challenge on our own.
You can read member testimonials here
The Importance of Self-Awareness
One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in business is the importance of regularly stopping to check in with yourself.
Not just your goals.
Not just your income.
Not just your to-do list.
But yourself.
How are you really feeling?
Are you enjoying the journey?
Does your business still align with the life you want to create?
Because sometimes the most important thing we can do is pause long enough to listen.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to do business alone.
In fact, I don’t think we’re meant to.
Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs don’t come from another course, strategy or marketing tactic.
Sometimes they come from a conversation.
A moment of reflection.
Or somebody asking the right question at the right time.
And perhaps the question worth asking today is this:
Are you building the business you actually
